Isang Taong Lumipas, Isang Taong Dumaan

Heto na naman ang panahon na ito. Hindi po Christmas ang aking tinutukoy.  Hindi rin New Year. Octoberfest! Hindi rin. Kaarawan ko na naman. A year older. A year wiser.  Ilang taon na ako ?  Never mind. Age is just a number.  A number that I’d rather keep to myself! Hmp.

I used to love birthdays. Dati ay big deal ito. There was a time that I would celebrate my birthday for a week. As in. I would have dinner with a different set of friends everyday of the week to celebrate my greatness hehehe. Those where the days na nasa dictionary ko pa ang salitang socialization. Those where the days na excited ka pang maging “early twenties”. Not that I am old-old now. Hindi pa naman ako tinatawag na “manong”. Kuya pwede pa.  Minsan Tito. But never manong.  Siguro in a few more years – baka ma-accept ko na. J Pero still – I can’t help but feel na manong na manong na ako — sa pag-uugali.  I hate noisy places. Why go to a club when you can  have coffee in an out of the way coffe shop ang gab with friends. Why go out when you can stay in your room – turn up the aircon and  watch the telly. Why? Why? Sabihin nyo sa akin. Hehehe.

Anyway – balik tayo sa aking kaarawan. Birthdays for me is a day of reflecting. What have you done for the past year. What have you accomplished? What should you have accomplished. Yup — torture.  Pero ganun talaga. Kung hindi mo iisipin ang mga nagawa mo – paano mo malamaman ang mga dapat at pwede mo pang gawin?

For the past couple of birthdays – ang lagi kong naiisip sa pagrereflect na ito ay ang mga failures sa buhay. Mga bagay na hindi nakuha or nakamit.  Lagi tuloy akong malungkot.  Kaya this year — iisipin ko na lang ang mga magagandang bagay na mayroon ako. Una na dyan ang aking pamilya — kadalasan man na problema ang binibigay —- I’m still thankful I still have my family. I still miss my Mom terrirbly — pero ganun talaga. Focus na lang sa mga tao na kapiling pa. Friends – hindi man ako Mr. Friendship – the few I have makes me happy. Quality — kaysa quantitiy.  Work. Okay – I may bitch a lot about my work.. Lagi ko man sabihin na tinatamad na ako or naiinis na ako – still – it’s an okay work. Okay naman ang sweldo kahit walang increase. Workload is still manageable. Kaya pa naman pagtiisan ang mga  nakakairitang nilalang.  Material things – okay… wala ako masyado nito… pero hindi naman ako nagdaraphop. It would be good kung manalo ako ng milyon-milyon sa lotto.  Pero until that time – kaunting tipid-tipid muna.  It would be great kung makauwi na ako sa NasPi. Pero until hindi pa ako financially stable — tiis-tiis muna. Meron naming TFC e… hehehe… pangbawas lungkot.  All in all — I think I have a good life. It would be better if it will become a great life. Pero good is good.  Kung papalarin at bibigyan ng great live – cherry on top ito.

What are my plans for the coming year? Naku – ayaw ko masyadong magset ng mataas na goal. Siguro — I want to travel more. Miss ko na mag-out of the country e.  I also wanted to learn something new — probably take a class…or kahit certification.  I plan to be contented. Yan siguro ang wala ako ngayon . Yung maging contented with what I have. I plan to be patient. Wag masyadong personalin ang mga kainis-inis na bagay sa trabaho.. Sabi nga – trabaho lang yan. Mahirap gawin – pero pipilitin. I plan to be positive. Mahirap laging nega. Nakakapagod. Dapat positive lagi. Lastly — I plan to be happy. I just had a good year — I have a feeling — the coming year will be better!. Happy Birthday to me!!!!

P.S.

I plan to write more. Miss ko na ang mag-blog.

Half-Up

I know. It’s been more than a month since my last entry. Fine. Sue me.  Masyado lang busy couple with katamaran at patuloy na pakikilaban sa buhay — ayan.. walang entry. Kaya nga eto – kahit gabi na ay naisipan kong sumulat. 

I love the weekend – more so these past few days. Stress level is through the roof kung kaya’t weekends are a welcome break. This weekend — I decided to watch Up. The buzz on this movie is quite good and karamihan ng kakilala kong nanood ay nalibang. I have been meaning to watch this movie kaso laging hindi fit sa schedule. Pero finally — yesterday —  nakakuha rin ng magandang schedule… or so I thought.

Dahil sa may 4 weeks na itong palabas dito ay medyo mahirap nang magahanap ng sinehan na palabas ito.  Pero dahil sa talagang desisido akong panoorin ito — I agreed to watch this movie in a moviehouse on the other side of the island. As in the other side of the island — hmp.  I particularly like my side of the island and I see no reason to go to the other side.  Kaya for me to agree to watch this movie in the other side of the island is quite a big deal.  Sabi ko nga – it better be worth the travel. 

We booked our tickets online and got ready. Since tagtipid kami — we decided to take the bus. So we left the house 1 hr and 20 mins before the start of the movie. Should be enought time. Or so we thought.   We arrived at the mall around 15 mins before the start of the movie — pero kahit anong gawin naming ikot sa mall ay hindi namin makita ang sinehan. Suddenly — naisip ko na baka nasa mali kaming lugar. I mentioned to my friend the name of the movie house na naalala kong binilihan ko ng ticket.  Apparently — we are in the wrong place.

5 minutes before showtime — we hopped into the mrt as the place I mentioned is around 4 stations away.  We kept on thinking bakit naming naisip pumunta sa mall na una naming pinuntahan considering na di kami dun nagbook ng ticket online. We arrive at the moviehouse 15 past showtime and decided to still watch the movie. Nung i-claim na namin ang ticket — hindi makita ng tikitera ang aming booking. Odd. Sinabi na namin lahat ng info — credit card used, I.D., mobile phone number. Nada. Wala daw. Tumataas na ang blood pressure ko at medyo nasa sungit mode na ako. They asked if we want to buy another ticket instead – kahit nagsimula na ang movie. Fine. Matapos na lang. Hmp. Bwisit. Nung binigay na sa amin ang ticket — the movie is already closed to the middle which is odd since dapat ay mga 1o mins pa lang or so. Hmmm…. odd.  Since may ticket na — no choice but to watch Up —well the middle of Up. Hmp.

Nasa middle na ng movie ng pumasok kami — pero oks na rin. Let go of the past and move on. Life is too short to be angry. So ayun — tried to enjoy the remaining half of the movie.  The remaining half is good — would have been better if I saw the whole movie.  Pero ganun talaga.   Panoorin ko na lang yung remaining half pag lumabas na ito in DVD.  Review of the movie? Saka na — pag napanood ko na ito in  its entirety. Para fair.

P.S.

Apparently — we are on the right place the first time. Nakahiwalay pala sa mall yung movie house kaya hindi namin nakita. At kung bakit ko naisip yung 2nd place na pinuntahan namin —- I charged it to my short term memory. Lesson learned? Never watch a movie on that part of the island. Ay… oo nga pala — at tandaan kung saan nagbook ng ticket. 

Good Intentions

Musta na mga  ka-berks? Bago ang lahat isa munang katanungan — uso pa ba ang salitang “berks”? I have been in my own bubble for quite a while kung kaya’t hindi ko na sure kung ano ang usong tawagan ngayon. Anyway – it has been a while since my last entry — akala nyo siguro ay tuluyan ko nang kinalimutan ang aking first love – acting.. este ang pagsusulat ng mga walang kwentang bagay. Hindi pa naman. Medyo bisi-bisihan lang ng kaunti. The past few weeks have been uninteresting. You’ll be bored our of your wits kung ikwento ko pa ito. Sabihin na lang natin na I’ve been busy with :

Work 

A little sick (pero hindi AH1N1 ha..)

Farmtown  

 Yoville

 TV Series

 Movies

 Anyway – ulit — hindi yan ang gusto kong ibahagi sa inyo aking dear reader/s.  Naligaw lang ako – mahina ako sa directions e. Pasensya na ulit. Hmm.. nasaan na ba ako.. hmm.. ayun.. nangyari na ba sa inyo yung you did something with  nothing but good intentions pero ended up doing some other thing? Mukhang yan ang nangyayari sa akin ngayon. I wake up early and went to the office early (which by itself is already a miracle—- tutuo ang himala!!!!) with all the intention of working hard. Dami na kasing mga lumalagpas sa deadline – which is so not me. I am usually a hardworker – di lang halata. Pramis – masipag talaga ako… mukha lang hindi. J

 Ayun na nga – I arrived early sa opis. All ready for a full day of non-stop working. Work like a dog ika nga. With my Kopi-C siew-tai (Coffee with Evaporated milk – less sweet) – hinarap ko na ang aking computer. Read all my e-mails to get this our of the way. Nilabas ko na ang aking ipod to drown all the noise in the environment. And started working… for five minutes or so. Yup… I started will all good intentions – pero nabigo ako. Parang tinatamad ako e. Parang feeling ko may kailangan pa akong gawin bago ko simulan ang aking trabaho. Spent 5 minutes or so na pagmumuni-muni when it finally dawned on me.  Yup. Alam ko na kung ano ang dapat ko munang gawin. I need to write this entry.  And here I am – writing this entry which you are reading right now.  At dahil sa nasulat ko na ang entry na ito – isa lang ang dapat kong gawin. I need to end this entry and start with work. Walang choice e.. need to bring home the bacon. O sya… sa muli.

 P.S.

 Bilang tribute sa  namayapang King of Pop – I decided to listen to his music for the entire day. Yup. MJ the entire day. Sumalangit nawa ang kaniyang kaluluwa.

To Read is to Believe

I know it’s been forever since my last entry. Pasensya na po. May mga makakating labi na nagbabasa ng blog ko na ito ang nagsumbong sa aking amo na madalas kong sabihin na wala akong ginagawa. Kaya ayun – binigyan ako ni bossing ng maraming gawain. Either that — or napansin lang nila na sayang naman ang pinapasweldo sa aking kung hindi naman nila ako papakinabangan. Kaya eto – busy as a bee. Or as an Ant. At dahil sa busy as a bee — or as an Ant… na ako —- wala na munang mga nakakatuwa at kagiliw-giliw na entries. Well — that is with the assumption na dati ay kagiliw-giliw ang aking mga dating entries. 

At dahil nga sa busy as a bee… or as an ant… ako —– hindi na muna ako magsusulat ng kung ano-ano pa. Naisip ko na sapat nang mag-iwan ako ng isang larawan na kagiliw-giliw.  Hindi ko na masyadong i-introduce ang picture na ipapakita ko… sabi nga — to read is to believe……

Exhibit A

Naa-alala nyo pa ba si Aling Tindera na pinilit akong magtanong sa kaniya pagkatapos ay sinabihan akong wag nang magtanong dahil sa nakukulitan na siya? Ha? Ha? Na-aalala nyo pa sa? Sa mga hindi nakaka-alala – let me refresh your memory…

http://rollypollypanini.wordpress.com/2009/03/21/kulit-kasi/

Sa tingin nyo ba ay nagsasabi ako ng tutuo nung ikinwento ko ito? O akala nyo ay gumagawa lamang ako ng kwento para may maikwento ako sa inyo? Hmmm? Which is which? Anyway – para sa mga nagdududa dyan sa tabi-tabi — isa lang ang masasabi ko – A picture is worth a thousand words. Kaya hindi na ako magpapaligoy-ligoy pa… Exhibit A…..

Ang Magsasaka

Alam kong matagal-tagal na rin akong walang naisusulat sa blog ko na ito. There’s this part of me who wanted to say that I’m just so busy with work kaya wala akong time para magsulat ng kahit ano. Pero there’s this part of me — who I would normally listen to – who knows that I should say the truth. The truth is — nalululong ako… yup.. addicted… addicted to Farm Town. Pasensiya na dear reader/s. Just trying out kung pwede kong gawing second career ang pagsasaka. Verdict — too early to say… Give me few more weeks.

The One with the Top 5 List

Bago ko simulan ang entry na ito – may nais muna akong ikumpisal sa lahat. Ako, si RollyPollyPanini ay may facebook account. And surprisingly – may friends akong ka-facebook. O wag nang mag-comment pa. Ako man ay nagtataka at meron akong mga ka-facebook. Ilan? More than 1. And – hindi ko sila kamag-anak or binyaran. Wala din silang pagkakautang sa akin. Gusto lang talaga ako nilang maging ka-facebook. Friendly kasi ako e – well to a chosen few. To most — I usually channel my Oscar the Grouch persona.

Ok. Dahil sa tapos na ako sa aking earth-shattering confession – pwede ko nang ibahagi ang mga bagay-bagay na gusto kong ibahagi. Related pa rin sa Facebook — I am a fan of the 5 Things list. Yun mga kung ano-anong 5 things lang. Kunwari – 5 bagay na lagi mong dala pag-alis or 5 favorite na tsokolate etc.

The other night – I was answering the 5 things you would like to receive on your birthday. This is a no brainer isip ko lang :

First on my mind – a European tour. No brainer. I’ve been obssessing to go on a European tour since birth. I’ve been to a few cities in Europe few years ago – pero it’s a business trip so wala masyadong lakwatsa. I need to go back as a true blue tourist. Yung walang iniisip na mga business requirements or functional specification documents.

2nd – hmm… hmmm.. hmmm… 5 minutes later it dawned to me – wala na akong maisip pang bagay na gusto kong mareceive as a birthday gift. Wala. As in. And I find this odd and scary at the same time. Odd – kasi ang dami kong gusto e. Scary – kasi dalawang bagay lang naman kung bakit wala ka nang gusto pa. Una – you are contented with what you have which is excellent but is statistically impossible. Human nature na kasi yung magnais ng mga bagay na wala sa iyo. Ikalawang dahilan – you are settling. You’ve given up and settled for what you have right now. White flag waived. Tapos na ang laban. This is bad – really bad. Life is a continous struggle. The struggle ends only when you are six feet under. And I don’t plan on going that path for a long-long-long time. I still need to live life to the fullest. Lots of plans. Lots of things to do.

Katawa no? Isang napakasimpleng tanong — but it branched out to such complex self questioning. Parang sobrang layo ng nilakbay mo – e ang gusto mo lang naman ay bumili ng Coke. Quarterly-life crisis? Oprah moment? O kaartehan lang talaga? Whatever it is – paminsan-minsan mainam din ang mga serious na pag-iisip. Good for the mind – iwas Alzheimers.

Oppss.. muntik ko nang malimutan – I was able to finish my list. I was able to think of 5 things I want to receive on my birthday. A European tour, latest Blackberry phone, latest Lazy Boy chair, a private island home and syempre – World Peace.

The One with the Burger

I am starting this entry with a flashback. Couple of Fridays ago — Friday night to be exact – I’m at home… in front of the tube… having dinner while watching the 4th season of How I Met Your Mother. There’s this episode where Marshall is looking for the place where he had the best burger. For the whole episode – they did nothing but eat burger from one place to another. And every time they bite into that thick juicy burgers – I can’t help but crave… for a thick juicy burger. And you know me – once I crave for something — I gotta have it. There ain’t no mountain high enough. Ain’t no valley low enough. Ain’t no river wide enough. To keep me from getting a thick juicy burger. Singbilis ni Flash na ako ay gumayak — at tumalilis. Isa lang ang aking goal buy a burger. And the best fastfood burger there is – Carl’s Junior’s Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger. Yun nga lang – the nearest Carl’s Junior from my place is the newly opened outlet an MRT station away. Pero hindi ito naging sagabal sa aking misyon. Pushing and kicking all those in my way – I finall arrived. It took forever – nakarating din ako. Pumila ako in all excitement – thinking of all the langhap-sarap goodness that I am to eat. Nung ako na ang oorder – I excitedly said — 1 Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger – no pickles – no onions. The staff smiled at me and said – I’m sorry sir – we only serve chicken and fish today. @#*^$%^%$# naman o. Who the hell eats fish burger? Or Chicken burger? Ok fine — marami.. including me. Pero that time – I want a double western bacon cheeseburger… and I want it now. Pero bigo ako bigo. Umuwi akong bahag ang mundo dala dala ang aking Double Cheeseburger from Mc Donalds. And I am telling you…. It was not the same. It did not satisfy me at all…..

Which leads to today. I am watching – well – the 3rd season of How I Met Your Mother ( I know… I have no life) and there’s this episode again with Marshall about to eat a burger. Lo and behold — the craving returns. Muli – singbilis ni flash na ako a muling gumayak. In no time – nasa mall na ulit ako. I am so excited to eat the best (that I can afford) burger in town ng mapadaan ako sa isang bagong bukas na Sandwich shop. Hmmm… Grilled Ciabata bread – egg, cheese and corned beef. Hmmm…

P.S.

I never made it to Carl’s Jr…. I had the sandwich… and it was Legen —- wait for it — Dary! Man… I need to stop watching How I Met Your Mother – even if it’s Awesome!

Vision 20/Astigmatism

Medyo long overdue na ang “news” na ito. Slightly bilasa na kung tutuusin. Pero sabi nga ng matatanda – na amerikano – better late than never. Kaya it’s better that I share this piece of stale news kaysa naman hindi ito malaman ng aking milyong-milyong fans (sa panaginip — actually bilyon pa nga e… ayawa ko lang mag-exaggerate). Naku – kung saan-saan na naman napunta ang usapan. Anyway – late last year – dahil sa financial crisis – I decided na ito na ang tamang panahon upang maging malinaw ang lahat. Kaya ayun – pikit mata (este dilat mata pala) akong nagpaschedule for Lasik surgery. I had my surgery a day after Christmas. Sobrang bilis – the actual surgery is over in 10 mins or so. I went home – pop a couple of sleeping pills and slept. Nung magising ako the next day – I can already see without the need for glasses. I returned to the doctor for check-up and he did some minor adjustment sa corneal flap (yun yata tawag dun) ng aking right eye. Medyo kailangan daw i-flat mabuti. Parang yung naglalagay ng protector sa cellphone. Kailangan walang bubbles. J 3rd day – I’m good to go. I need to lubricate my eyes every hour for a month – then afterwards as needed. Other than that — okay naman. It’s a small inconvenience —- considering I have been wearing glasses since I was in Grade 4. A 20/20 vision is not guaranteed. Sa simula pa lang ay sinabi na ito ng duktor. Dryness of the eyes is also a common occurrence after the surgery. Oks lang naman sa akin ito. Madali naman talagang mag-dry ang mata ko which is why I hate wearing contact lens. Fast forward — a couple of weeks ago – I returned for my 3rd check-up. Around 3 months kasi ay medyo nag-stabilize na ang grado ng mata. Nag-undergo ulit ako ng mga eye-test. Sinuri muli nang duktor ang aking mga mata . After all the reading and poking — the doctor confirmed that the surgery is a success. My eyes healed nicely. Vision? 20/Asigtmatism (L/R). Just a few grade shy of 20/20. Pero the doctor said that I should not worry since possible pa rin naman daw humabol ang aking right eye. I said I am not worried — 20/20 vision would be a treat… but 20/astigmatism is more that enough. I am just glad that after a long-long time — I can finally open my eyes in the morning, look at the wall clock and clearly see na late na naman ako.

Disclaimer: Naka-deferred payment ang aking surgery. 12 months to pay. Wag nang magtangka pang mangutang.

Bakit?

Sa mga nagdaang araw – isang katanungan ang lagi kong naririnig sa mga milyon-milyon kong tagasubaybay. Fine. Isang tagasubaybay. Nangangarap lang naman. Masama na bang mangarap ngayon? Hmp. Anyway – balik sa katanungan…. Bakit? Yup. Bakit? Bakit ko daw binago ang header ng aking blogsite. Where’s the ranting-raving-reviewing Panini? Bakit ito pinalitan ni wicked-superman-wannabe–gravity-defying-nobody.

Well unang-una… I’m not a total nobody. I’m somebody to some. Nobody to most — pero ang imporatante ay somebody to some. J Second – I’m still the same ranting, raving, reviewing lunatic na minamahal ng lahat. No amount of site header change can remove these qualities from me. I’m still the same old me — but with new a blogsite header. J Lastly — napapanahon lang talaga ang pagbago ng blog header. Isinasabay ko ito sa agos ng buhay… sa ihip ng hangin. Sa isang sudden realization na it’s time for a change — a new header to mirror what life is giving you at the moment. Lalim ba? Masyado bang pinag-isipan? Actually – pinag-isipan ko talaga yan. Stone na stone kasi ako ngayon dito sa kulungan este opis kaya nag-iisip-isip na lang ako.

Anyway next question na — bakit defying gravity? Sabihin na lang natin na for the past few years —- I have this feeling that gravity is doing its best to pull me down to the earth’s core. As in full blast gravitational pull. And for the past few years – well till now – I’ve been giving all might to defy gravity. I’ve been doing my darnedest to prevent this gravitational pull from burying me to the ground. Ganun naman talaga ang buhay di ba? You’ll get to encounter obstacles in your journey — and the only thing you can do is do your best to overcome all these obstacles. Do our best to defy gravity! Not let anyone or anything pull us down.

Naku – masyado nang seyoso ang entry na ito. Makakasira na ito sa aking image. Kailangan tigilan na ang pag-eemote. Sabagay – that’s life… minsan kailangan medyo serious. Pero wag dapat laging serious. Dadami lang ang frown lines. Yayaman na naman sina Belo at Calayan nyan.